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Adult Harder: Unlock the Secrets of Secret Menus That are Secret

Pssst. Hey, you. Do you like food? SHHHH! Not so loud! We're talking secret menus on the podcast this week...we're giving a whole rundown of who's who and what's what in the dark, seedy underbelly of black market foodstuffs, including a whole segment on calming yourself down because what you probably think is a secret menu isn't actually a secret menu. Then we open the kimono on a few honest-to-goodness secret menu items in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York, and then we're joined by Austin, Texas food blogger Emily Teachout, who schools us real good on why people love secret menus, and who also gives us the lowdown on the best kept secrets of the Austin food scene!

Hungry for more? Of course you are! Check out Emily's Instagram and Twitter (though Emily made it very clear that her Instagram is VASTLY superior to her Twitter, so if you have to choose one, you know what to do), and her wonderful blog is available at A Time to Kale!

And hey, if you want to get down with the magic of Torchy's Tacos, click here for a shot of something absurdly delicious that isn't technically one of their secret menu items, but it's a monthly special that you can only get sometimes, and dios mio, is that a spicy Thai beef taco with crushed peanuts?!?!

And check out the rest of Torchy's goodness at

Adult Harder: Avoid the Emergency Room Like a Responsible Adult

Look, is it easy to keep yourself from sticking power drills through your palm flesh? No. But is it important to stop doing that? Heck yes! Emergency room visits are no treat, despite the fact that George Clooney was so dreamy in that one show about ERs, so this week, the Professors Smith are giving you some A+ tips on how to not injure the hell out of yourself, with a bit of help from Mandie Czarnecki, a Physician Assistant from St. Louis who has worked in the ER for almost a whole decade now. Wow, that's a long time! (Also, they discuss ass goblins.)

And if you're interested in checking out those selfie-related injuries on Wikipedia, click here, you macabrely curious brain, you!

Adult Harder: Throw a Swanky Cocktail Party


Percy Rodriguez

Beverage Director, The Vine NYC

This week, we bring on a surprisingly high-end guest, Percy Rodriguez, who has worked in wine, cocktails, and mixology with some pretty impressive chefs, including Mario Batali and Laurent Tourondel. With Percy’s cocktail guidance, we dive into the grown-up world of luxurious liquors and talk about the finer points of hosting a real swanky-ass cocktail party. This ain’t your college kegger, folks...this is the adult AF version of drinks with your friends, and there’s a lot to consider if you want to cocktail right.

  • Get some friends
  • Pick a date and time
  • Send invites to those friends you supposedly got in Step 1
  • Have some foodstuffs on hand
  • Make a playlist
  • Clean your house
  • Dress like a grown-up
  • Learn how to make some killer cocktails

To help us with that last part, we ask Percy for his take on the top three cocktails every adult should offer at a cocktail party, and the recipes are below!

Percy also recommended we check out the Savoy Cocktail Book, so click the link and check it out on Amazon!

He also discusses the importance of some supremely impressive ice cubes, and we found a couple molds we thought you might like, here and here.

Oh! And before we forget, here's Ryan's Spotify playlist, as promised!

Ryan's Not-As-Good-As-Percy's Cocktail


  • 2 oz El Jimador or Milagro tequila
  • 2 oz fresh lime juice
  • 1 oz Cointreau
  • 1/2 oz agave nectar

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with some ice and just shake the shit out of it for about 20 seconds. Strain the cocktail into a new glass with new ice, because this isn't fucking amateur hour, and throw a little slice of lime in that motherfucker. Also, if you want salt on the rim, go for it, but do that shit before you pour in the margarita, unless you like drinking your booze off the floor.


Percy's Cocktails

Aperol Spritz

  • Aperol
  • Prosecco
  • 1 orange
  • Club soda

Fill a wine glass with ice. Pour 1 to 1 1/2 inches of Aperol into the glass. Follow it with some tasty-ass Prosecco until the glass is 3/4 full. Squeeze an orange into the glass, and drop in an orange slice. Then top that motherfucker off with club soda and enjoy the hell out of it.


Rum Punch

  • 2 oz aged rum
  • 2 oz pineapple juice
  • 1 oz grapefruit juice
  • Splash of lime juice
  • 1/2 oz simple syrup
  • Fresh nutmeg
  • Peychaud's bitters

Add the rum, pineapple juice, grapefruit juice, and lime juice into a shaker with some ice. You know what? Throw that simple syrup in there, too. Give it a good shake. Shake it like you fucking mean it. Then open the shaker and grate in some fresh nutmeg, and pour the whole damn thing into a tall glass. Sprinkle four or five dashes of Peychaud's bitters on top, and just love your life so much.



  • 2 oz of Rittenhouse or Michter's rye
  • 1 oz Antica sweet vermouth
  • 3-5 dashes of orange bitters

Add rye, vermouth, and bitters into a glass with ice. Stir for about 20 seconds, until that glass is frosty as hell. Then put some fresh ice into a rocks glass and strain the cocktail into it. Boom. You did it.

Adult Harder: Curse with Some F'ing Gravitas

On the pilot episode of Adult Harder, college professors Clayton Smith and Ryan Smith dissect the finer points of cursing. But not cursing like you’ve been doing. Cursing like adults curse. Because when you’re a real adult, you follow some classy-ass guidelines, like:

  • Don’t just fucking curse fucking constantly.
  • Don’t just use the same curse word(s) all the time. Mix it up. And don’t be afraid to make up your own curse words.
  • Don’t be a dick about it.
  • Use curse words to emphasize a point, but, again, don’t be a dick about it..
  • Practice using the C-bomb well.
  • Do NOT use the N-word. Ever. EVERRRRRRRR.
  • Broaden your vocabulary. Try new words! They’re fun!

We also spoke with fellow college professor Cara Dehnert Huffman about her favorite curse words, and we played a game with a title we’re not sure we should spell out here on the Internet. It is very explicit.

Research materials for this episode included Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing by Melissa Mohr. It is one hell of a fun read.

BONUS: We also found this cursing game called Creative Cursing, and it looks like a lot of GD fun!