Adult Harder: Contribute to Christmas Dinner Like a Champ
This week, the Smiths are going all in on this whole "family" thing by making the bold suggestion that it's time for you to adult up and bring some homemade goodness to your holiday party. What's that, you say? "I'm worse at cooking than I am at adulting"? No problem! The professors have some of their own family recipes for you to try, and because those are destined to probably fail, then they kick it over to a real expert, Rorie Raimondi!
You can find Rorie's good-as-hell recipes and food blog at IAmRorie.com, which is where you'll find the recipes for the delicious noms she shared on the show. You can also follow her on Instagram, where you'll find more good-looking photos like these:
Now. WHO'S READY FOR SOME RECIPES?
Clayton's Grandma's Bourbon Slush
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 1/2 cups bourbon (or, you know, a whole bottle, Grandma-style)
- 6 1/2 cups water
- 1 cup tea (prepared)
- 2 6-ounce packages of lemonade concentrate
- 1 6-ounce package of orange juice concentrate
Mix all ingredients together in a big ol' plastic container, then pop that sucker into the freezer 'til it gets all good and hard. Then take it out of the freezer and let people scoop away at it as it thaws. Mmmmmmmm.
Ryan's "Signature" Cocktail
This recipe is so dumb, it doesn't even warrant being included.
Ryan's Mom's Friend's Filipino Mini Egg Rolls
- 1 pkg. Spring roll wrappers, cut in 4 squares
- Peanut Oil
- 1lb. lean ground pork
- 2 cups shredded or finely chopped carrots
- 1 and 1/2 cups finely chopped white onion
- 1/4 cup soy sauce
- 1 and 1/4 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp pepper and
- 1 tsp. Accent seasoning
Mix all filling ingredients together thoroughly. Set 1 spring roll wrapper in front of you like a diamond. Place 1 tsp of the mixture in the center of the spring roll wrapper. Begin by tucking both sides inward and begin rolling away from you, bottom to top. Pan fry in peanut oil until browned and crunchy.
Serve with plum sauce, sweet and sour, soyracha or, I don't know, whatever sauce you want. What is this, a dictatorship?
Clayton's Aunt's Super-Good Sesame Pork Tenderloin
- 4 pork tenderloins
- 1/2 cup (or more!) soy sauce
- 2 tsp. ground ginger
- 3-4 Tbsp. brown sugar
- A bit of honey (but NOT a Bit-O-Honey candy, totally different)
- 1/2 tsp. black pepper
- 4 cloves garlic, pressed
- 1/4 cup sesame seeds
Combine the above ingredients, minus the tenderloins, and heat slightly on the stove or in the microwave, just to melt the brown sugar. Pour 3/4 of the marinade over the meat and marinate for 4-5 hours, turning occasionally.
Discard marinade. Place marinated meat on a pan with edges and back, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 75 minutes. (That's one hour and fifteen minutes to those of you without calculators.) Turn the meat occasionally as it cooks, basting with the remaining marinade periodically.
Slice it all up, then eat it like crazy.
Sweet Potatoes with Yogurt and Cilantro-Chile Sauce
This one comes from The New York Times, and while we could cut and paste it here, that seems like an intellectual property no-no, and plus, Clayton's too lazy to do that, so here's a link where you can find it yourself! Clayton also mentioned a recipe from The New York Times that he uses for sweet potatoes with yogurt and cilantro-chile sauce. He could copy and paste it here, but that would cut out of his nap time, you can find that goodness for yourself by clicking here!